Total Pageviews

Monday 21 January 2013

Tales of the Unexpected, Part 3 of 3.


<Deep American voice on>

Previously, Mark’s promised weekend of passion failed to materialise as he was stood up on the Friday night and completely ignored by the online dating community on the Saturday and Sunday.  How much worse can it get?  Find out here…

<Deep American voice off>

On the Monday I awoke in a pretty miserable and crestfallen state.  I never used to tell my staff anything at all about my private life, so I was pretty surprised when I walked into the office and was greeted by an inquisitive receptionist who asked “So, how did the date go then?”

“Eh?  How did you know?”

“There was an answerphone message from your Friday afternoon client. Can you call her as she has a query on her Will and she also asked if your date showed up.”

Good Lord, I hadn’t expected that. 

“Look, for the record I was stood up, but for heaven’s sake don’t let the client know. She said that she’d go out with me herself if my date didn’t show and I don’t even want to try and explain that away to her… she’s in her mid-seventies!  Anyway, if she calls, as far as she is concerned, everything was fine.”

She passed the message around the office and I imagine it provided them all with some amusement for a while.  Amusement was the last thing on my mind… I was still shocked at my apparent invisibility to the female dating community.

I returned my client’s call and sure enough, her first question was “How was your date?”

“Ok thank you.  You had a query with your Will I think?”  Move on, move on. I didn't dwell on the subject of the date and fortunately she didn't push the point either.  It was a minor query – something about a middle name – and it put her mind at ease.  She said it had been worrying her over the weekend and thanked me for my time.

The weather matched my mood as the skies darkened and we had the most almighty storm.  A lightning strike close by knocked the phone system out completely and we could neither make nor receive any calls.  Great.  The day was going from bad to worse.

Fortunately, the fax line was working and we arranged for BT to re-direct all calls through to that one, but this meant that all the receptionist could do was continually answer the fax telephone, explain what had happened and that someone would get back to them as soon as the phones were fixed.

Near the end of the day, the reception was busy; the phone was being answered continuously, files were being put away for the night and the post was being done.  I walked into with the last few letters that I’d signed and the receptionist turned to me and said,

“I've got that client you saw on Friday on the phone again, she has another query and she’s worried about it.  She needs to speak to you urgently.”

“Ok, pass me the phone, I’ll deal with it.” I said.  I took the phone and asked my client how I could help.  At that time I was surrounded by 4 reception staff.

“Hello, Mark here, what’s the problem?  I don’t have the file to hand but am sure I can answer it quickly for you.”

“Oh, hello, well, it isn't really a query but I just wanted to say that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since Friday. I’d love us to go out but of course, you may be looking for someone younger…”


The colour must have drained from my face as my staff suddenly stopped what they were doing and looked concerned.  One came up behind me to catch me if I fell backwards. I composed myself, motioning to them that I was ok.

“Err… well, that’s err… very… err... flattering and thank you but, err… well, I don’t think that would be appropriate really, would it?”  What could I say?  The staff obviously then cottoned on and a whole series of muffled sniggers went on behind me. How embarrassing was that!

The client said she understood and said goodbye, leaving me to deal with the now very amused staff.  Oh great. 

So not only had I been ignored by my peers, but I’d also been hit on by someone nearly 30 years my senior.  Was that how it was going to be from now on?  Was I past my sell by date?

Fortunately not – I’ll soon recount the most requested blog story of all, which is how I met my lovely partner Dawn – but that one week in the summer of 2008 took me through all the emotional highs and lows the Internet dating scene can provide.  

But the last non-internet bit was just cruel.

No comments:

Post a Comment